Life's Quite Frustrating (But, It's Fine)

Oh, nothing...

It's just one of those nights wherein you plan to sleep before 12 and end up thinking about everything you want to do in life as well as the possibility of not ever being able to. You end up thinking about the standards you set for yourself and how you might never be able to meet them.

It's scary how fast things can change and how everything can sort of just... backfire. And you know. Explode in your face and stuff. Life kind of punishes those who dare think that they can truly have their way. It's also pretty deceptive. Things turn around when you least expect them to.

I guess I already learned that a long time ago but unfortunately, in order for the stubborn to truly learn, they need to be taught more than once. And apparently, three times isn't enough for some.

It really isn't fair though. I mean, you teach yourself to accept a certain set of circumstances. Your circumstances. Whatever they may be. Eventually, you grow accustomed to them, learn to love them and then, you actually enjoy them. And then, as if on cue, things change.

Yup. Something comes up that will force you to reformat your game plan for the future and add even more factors and possibilities to the equation that is your life. In an instant, things are out of your hands. It's no longer your call. Like a hard slap on the face, a huge blow to your pride and giant reminder that you're not as strong as you think you are.

You're not superwoman.

......................As much as I hate to admit it, I really wish I was. Superwoman, I mean. Well, sometimes at least. If only I could do everything I want to do, say everything I want to say, be who I truly want to be **add more cheesy life stuff here** and I wish I could just give my 100% and not have to face the consequences of doing so! If only I would just stop giving less than my all, knowing that I can do so much more and yet fearing what might happen if I push myself too much and too hard. What am I saying? I don't even know anymore. 

Oh no. It's 3:26 am.

Please know that whenever I let myself truly feel the sadness I usually runaway from, I do so with the certainty that things will get better **add even more cheesy life stuff here** and to accept that life is just a giant, ugly, beautiful, horrible, amazing mess is probably the only way to stay sane.

(In other words, don't worry about me, I'm fine. Goodnight!)