Well, Ain't Life Grand

This is a Thank You post.

I've been on break for 5 days but, I haven't really gotten around to truly resting and, you know, having time to sit and drink tea and contemplate about life and stuff. It's been a really busy 5 days.

But I'm putting things off right now so that I can rush-write this blog and express just how grateful I am for this year. I didn't realize how much happened - but a lot did happen. A lot changed. And I like to think that I've grown a little as a person. Or a lot. I don't know.

Every single year since I was about 12 years old, I'd come up with a list of highlights. Some sort of Top x-teen list for Year 20x-teen. Contrary to the past few posts I've shared on this blog, which were all, for some reason, centered on the fact that things haven't been too great for me, I woke up today with a strong urge to write about all the wonderful things that took place in the past year.

It was actually a pretty good one, now that I look back at it.

So, I'm sorry for not seeing things that way during the one billion moments of stress and frustration and laziness and couldn't-care-less-ness and all the other bad times this year, haha. I guess being a BS Arki junior does take it's toll on your life. It turns you into a zombie and makes you forget all the good things. HAHAHA Just kidding. But nonetheless, thank God for breaks like these, where you actually have the time to process things and re-realize that you love what you're doing and that life isn't so bad after all. #IKnowImCheesyPleaseLetMeBe

I've gone through a whole lot of photo albums and here they are, my Top 14 of 2014, arranged semi - chronologically. Haha.

 

One. Jamie's Bridal Shower & Wedding.

This was one of the most fun sleepovers in the world - held in a very pink, beautiful, secret place. Haha! It's amazing, the amount of tears you shed when it's your friend walking down the aisle. Yeah, this group will last a lifetime. :)

Two. Sagada a.k.a. The Greatest Field Trip In History.

I will never forget the happiness I felt in that cold, perfect place. It was the best trip ever, and I couldn't have been with better company. Huhu. Kakamiss.

Three. Valentines Day.

Maybe it was the post - Sagada feels but, I think our batch had the best Valentines day ever. Hahaha! The boys surprised us girls with songs and paper flowers and stuff - because we were all single and sad. Haha joke. But it really was the sweetest thing ever. :)

Four. Valentines Night.

Thank you to my other single girl friends for dragging me with them. Haha, no regrets. I needed this night. 

Five. The Initiative - WordComm Youth Mission Trip.

This trip to Tacloban was one of the most fulfilling things I've ever done in my life. We visited their school, spent time with kids and built houses for the families. 

Six. Holy Week at Tali Beach.

This was probably the best Tali Trip ever. Three families, eighteen kids and loads of fun!

To add to this, I'm also super thankful for having been given the opportunity to write for Aquazorb's travel features. You can check the Tali article here! More to come, hihihi. Life is good!

Seven. Mount Batulao.

My brother and I had a hiking date and during the climb, I realized how much he loved me. He basically dragged me to the peak. Hahaha! He held my hand as we climbed up those freakin' vertical paths of torture. Hayz. That's love.

And that's also a sign of how unfit I am and how I must work on my body next year, haha.

Eight. States.

Until now, I find it hard to believe that I was actually there for a whole month. It was a surreal experience - to be away from my family for that long and to be that far from, uhm, everything and everyone. Haha. So much happened in the States. Too many new experiences.

It was also my time. It was there that I really got to shut up and reflect about my life. God met me there and made me realize a lot of things. :) This trip served as evidence that you really have to get away to see things a little more clearly.

And that's what I plan to do a little more from now on. Haha.

Get away, I mean. <3

#Excited

Nine. Singapore.

For my birthday, I escaped again! My brother and I went on our second major date of the year, haha! We went to Singapore and had the time of our lives. Really. We did nothing but eat and explore. Something, I'd definitely want to do over.

Oh, and Singapore is a beautiful country!

Ten. Details Ink.

Details Ink has grown a lot this year. Apart from all the new products, there have been so many other new things... like, new opportunities, new projects, new followers, new artsy-business-crafter friends and new venues to inspire. This is one of the things I'm most grateful for and I'm praying that this carries over to 2015. May it be even better. :)

Eleven. #TeamBaler and #Friends.

It was one hell of a semester. Really. I don't know how much weight I lost (Kidding. I know but, I won't say. HAHA.) and I don't know how many nights I barely slept. Third year is no joke huhuhu.

So here's to the people that helped me get through the first half of it!

To Mico and Gabby, I'm super happy we were partners. Huhu best team ever.

To Anna and Lance, I'm super happy we're friends. HAHA WHAT. (But, really.)

And to Gab, I'm super happy that you.... visit Anna all the time. Hahahaha.

Yay!

Twelve. Semi - Good Health.

Good news, I didn't get sick sick this year! I did get Dengue though. For the third time in my life. Huhu. And I'm still in the process of gaining all the weight back so, before you make any more comments about how tiny I look, please know that I am trying my very best to get fat. Hihi. <3

Thirteen. The Constants of My Life.

The Elites.

Since Grade School.

The Supreme Six.

Since Birth.

The Barkada.

Since high school.

The Cangs, Pangs, De Langs.

Since forever.

The Best Barkada Ever a.k.a. My Family.

Ever since the dawn of time.

jk

I thank God every day for the people in my life - the ones that get me through life. Haha. What would I do without them huhuhu. And I know that I'm missing a lot of things, as well as people. I'll cheat and add more things I'm thankful for in this paragraph, hahaha. (And I'll cheat again because I'm simultaneously writing a list for Details Ink too. Oh, and the 14th thing on this list, I've intentionally kept secret hihihi. So yeah, that's additional stuff for me, yay for gratitude!)

Hahaha. But seriously, here's more:

• The Design Her Story Community. I owe my friend, Megan, a lot for bringing me to the conference that boosted my spirits and sparked my drive just when I needed it. 
• The Zap Tag PH Family + Ambassador-ship. I totally forgot about Zap but, yes. I'm thankful for all the opportunities and all the free food and free things and free friends that I got since I started here. Hahahaha! Yay.
• The Maker's Market Community. Details Ink has grown so much because of this. I've learned so much from all the other local makers and our events have been such fulfilling and humbling experiences. Hayz. Super happy to be a part of this. :((

There's also a lot more people to say thank you to. I'm so super sorry if I miss anyone but, it doesn't feel right to end this blog without mentioning:

• Tim Cu, Riri Rodriguez and Alfonso Ancheta for just being there and getting me through several horrible days. :)
• Again, Tim Cu and Diego Mendiola for being the best, clingiest Arch 4 seatmates in life.
• Riri Rodriguez (you deserve a solo slot) for magically appearing during all the times I needed someone I could be a brat and total girl with, for always listening and always understanding.
• Big Minimo & Diane Diaz for being my Arch 24 buddies. We did it! Hihihi. Wink wink!
• Danielle Tan for being able to take all my outbursts and breakdowns and everything - all throughout the year and every single day since I've known you. Hahaha. 
• The G People for seeing me through one of my lowest points in life without even knowing it. Hihi. I'll forever love you guys for that. :)
• Ishka Mejia for all the lovely life talks and for constantly inspiring me without even trying to do so. ;)
• Alyssa Innocencio for helping me survive Physics 71! Huhuhu. You have no idea how grateful I am. Thank you for always saving me a seat, for allowing me to sleep almost every meeting haha, for always waking me up when it's time for the seatwork and for basically re-explaining the lesson to me so I can answer it hahaha huhuhu, for all the kwento sessions that we had during the times I was actually awake in class, for always understanding my sleepless arki life and for being super galing during Recits. Hahaha, huhuhu. Oh, and thank you for your Christmas gift that super touched my heart!!! I hope this thank you note has that effect. Hihi. >:D<

Given my main list, it is now crystal clear why this wasn't my best year in terms of academics. Hehehez. Something had to suffer. But, I can't believe I even had the guts to think that this wasn't a good year altogether. Huhu. Bad Kara. This year was beautiful, huhu. And it isn't even over!

I love this feeling.

It's like there's so much in store, really.

This time last year, I wasn't exactly in a good place. I guess that makes me extra grateful now. :)

So taking into consideration all the things I've done this year, everything that's happened, the good stuff, the bad stuff... and all the stuff I almost allowed myself to take for granted; my last insight/ final thought for the year 2014, and what I want to always keep in mind, is... that LIFE IS GOOD GRAND. :)

And sometimes we have to just stop, sit down, drink tea or whatever... for us to remember that it is. <3

Here's to 2014.

May 2015 be even better!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, World! :)

May I Please Be Excused

(Warning: Lots of Negative Feels in This Entry)

I'm so sorry.

I haven't been blogging.
I haven't been writing in my journals.
I'm losing some very important life notebooks.
And I basically... haven't been on top of my game.

Since January, I've been going around in a circle, trying so hard to figure out why this year isn't as great as I expected it to be. I guess I've been waiting to somehow transform into the best version of myself but... it just isn't happening and I don't know why. And it's driving me crazy.

I remember watching the fireworks on New Year's Eve. In that moment, I was absolutely sure that I ended the year well. I took all the big and scary steps that I needed to take, and I was more than ready for 2014 and everything it had in store for me.

It was pretty dramatic. That moment. I was looking back at my year and doing so, everything made sense. Every bad feeling. Every break down. Every major crossroad. Every life changing decision. It all suddenly felt like God's doing.

"Wow", I thought.
"All those things lead me here."

And "here" was exactly where I was supposed to be.

In that moment, I had a clean slate.
A fresh start.
A chance to make things better.

I had made a decision to let go of 2013 completely and embrace the new year - which, I believed with all my heart, was going to be the best year ever.

Buuuuuut sadly, there's only two months left of 2014 and I'm still here.
Still stuck in that moment.
Waiting.
And I don't even know what I'm waiting for anymore.
I guess I'm waiting for something to happen?
I'm waiting for that amazing new year moment (which stretched to a very draining and confusing 10 month long roller coaster of excitement and fear, fulfillment and discontent, expectations and disappointments) to be given justice.

Oh, and I'm waiting for myself to...I don't know. But, literally. I'm adjusting self-inflicted deadlines for goals I've set a billion years ago but, "haven't had the time to do." It's like I want to ask the whole world to be patient with me for now. Because I've witnessed myself at my best and this really isn't it. I'm not sure what's stopping me but, I promise, I'm working on it.

I'm working on being as driven as I once was.
As grateful as I once was.
As passionate as I once was.
And as annoyingly in love with life as I once was.

So, yeah. May I please be excused.

The Four Month Summer is Over (And My Glass is Half Full)

I haven't been present.

I've been floating.
I've been asleep.

I haven't been grateful.

I haven't even genuinely said Thank You for things I've been given for free that are probably worth me getting down on my knees for. And things that happened way before I thought they would. Oh, and the things I never thought would ever happen at all.

I've been unreasonable.
I've been whiny.
I've been blind.

And I'm saying all this because, well, it seems as though my body's being inhabited my by the most negative version of myself. Ever. Really. The glass has been half-empty for a while now and those of you who know me would know very well that in my world, it is always - and I mean always - half-full.

Even in the worst of circumstances, I used to somehow manage to see the bright side... or magically produce one. Haha. That's something I've been writing about for years but, let's just say that for the past month, I haven't exactly been walking my talk.

To be honest, I've been focusing all my energy on a tiny little dark spot in a world that's been pretty well-lit. And when I say well-lit, I'm talking giant spotlights, LED's and the freakin' sun itself.

Life has been throwing me one amazing blessing after another.
One opportunity after another.
One great experience after another.

And I've been floating through it because of my sheer inability to handle the overwhelming responsibility that comes with getting what you want...

You see, I'm a dreamer.

I was practically a baby when I decided I was gonna be an architect and I was in high school when I made a list of everything I wanted to be, as well as everything I wanted my little new-born-baby-stationery-business to be.

There was that GAME ON moment and everything. Even daily and weekly action steps to help me get to my big goals.

But, I'll be really honest here. Is it okay that I freak out and kinda wish to move a few steps backwards when all my big dreams are right at my finger tips? When it's all just a little stretch away, I stare blankly and choose not to reach - for fear that I might catch it.

And what the hell is a dreamer supposed to do when the dreaming part is over?

That, my friends, is one of the biggest problems of my life.
And I'm praying with everything I have that there's at least one person that understands this seemingly irrational yet, completely paralyzing internal conflict.

In other words, I'm easily overwhelmed.
Yup, even by my own goals & dreams.
They really scare me a lot.
Even the size of those mini-goals & mini-dreams freak me out sometimes.

It's like... I stare at a project and automatically get shot with magic lazy-beams. For example, I'm an aspiring writer that hasn't blogged in a month and can't even bring herself to write the articles she was so happy to have been assigned. So, I end up not being able to fully soak in the fact that I was even given such an opportunity! Ugh. When there are no writing/drawing/singing opportunities, I want them. When there are too many, I deny their existence... NO. BAD KARA!

This has got to stop.

During times of discontent, something I have to severely punish myself for, I seek inspiration from my old self. Hahaha. Because it makes me feel so ashamed of being less "together" than the 17 year old Kara. So much so that I actually take action. Hehehe. So, in an attempt to motivate myself (and anyone else who needs it) to finish projects in time, here's an old blog from 2011.

For a long while now, I’ve been thinking of everything I wanted to do. Actually, that’s all I ever do. I think. I make lists. I make plans. I dream. I get so wrapped up in my thoughts, so caught up with the excitement of the initial stage, that I forget the step that should follow: the execution. What good would all those bucket lists do, if you won’t ever make an effort to get those things done? 

I’ve come to find that the fulfillment you get from checking something on a list is a thousand times better than the excitement you get from writing it down. The doing is better than the dreaming. The experiencing is better than the planning. That’ was my realization. Something snapped right there and then. It suddenly became so clear to me that all I needed to do was DO. 

Right now, I’m the most excited that I’ve been in so long. There’s no solid plan this time. Once a week. Do something new. That’s the only plan. I’ve written over a hundred things on my to-do list. All I need to do now is get them done.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

That was it, guys. That was the four month summer we've all been rambling about since the Academic Calendar Shift debate started. That was it. It is finished and registration is tomorrow. Whew!

But I really do have to strip off that negative version of myself and look for the girl that would smile in a hospital gown after painful procedures and fight school administration to be able to attend classes and take exams, so as not to regret giving anything less than her best.

Like I said, the glass was always half full for me then.

And it's time to see things that way again.

So I want to express my gratitude now, even if it's kinda late.

In the last four months,

I learned some things I thought I had no hope learning,

I met people that inspired me so much,

I shared my work with people that challenged me so much,

I was given opportunities that really boosted my growth,

I went to beautiful places I never thought I'd see,
I bought amazing artsy & crafty things that I never knew existed,

And I spent more money than I ever thought I could ever spend and so now I'm practically broke HAHAHA

(jk)

But, my heart is happy. :)

Thank You for those four months and everything that came with it.

And I'm sorry I was stupid enough to even think that it wasn't enough.

Because it was.

It really was.

:)

"True Love Does Not Exist"

Just a cute video with a song that is semi-related to this blog. <3

I watched Maleficent for the third time yesterday. For some reason, it was okay the first time. Just okay.

I liked a lot more the second time and after watching again yesterday, I liked it a little less. Haha. Strange.

Anyway, I really like how Disney seems to be taking on a new platform when it comes to the ever-controversial topic - true love. 

I used to be one of the many that believed in finding their one true love. I didn't show it though. Ever. I denied it immensely. But those who know me well know that I avoided "love" because I wanted LOVE and I kept away from everyone because I wanted THE ONE. Hahaha.

I didn't want much. Just, you know, the "One and Only" thing, the "First and Last" thing and, basically, to live happily ever after in a far away land known as the South. Hahaha. 

In addition to that, I didn't think it was the slightest bit crazy that Ariel (of the Little Mermaid) got married at the age of 16 to a man she had only known for three days or that Aurora (of Sleeping Beauty) fell in love with the creep that randomly started dancing with her in the forest.

Well, anyway.

When I watched Frozen, I cringed throughout Love is An Open Door, freaked out when he proposed and cringed even more when she said yes. Why would you do that, crazy girl....

Well, anyway haha.

I love how Disney is sort of updating records and changing their stand and, well, preventing little girls from believing that every single boy in the world could be their Prince Charming and consequently, having their hearts broken upon the realization that he isn't.

In Frozen, the True Love pair wasn't Anna & her ka-duet (his name escapes me haha) but, Anna & her sister. I cried in that part huhu.

And true love wasn't embodied by Aurora & the cute prince dude but, by Aurora and Maleficent herself. I cried in that part too. A lot. I don't know why. Huhu.

On a completely unrelated note, I also cried a lot in Transformers when it was the girl's dad that went crazy trying to save her while her boyfriend just stood and watched. Ugh.

Do you see where I'm going with all this? I hope you do. Haha.

There are two things I learned. Or re-learned. First is that, well, I think it's time we give credit to the people who have been loving us unconditionally ever since, as well as to the God whose love is unchanging. The phrase "no matter what" is kind of a big thing for me. And man, I thank God every single day for being there and loving me just the same when I'm on top of my game or down in the dumps and for giving me people that can do the same - people whom I know will be there no matter what.

The second thing is that love isn't supposed to be perfect. In the classic Disney movies, maybe, but not in real life.

I warn my little girl cousins all the time to be careful who they give their hearts to. Because you know the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift? Yeah, I used to hate it. And now I get it. And now I love it. Haha. (Give it a listen and you'll understand.)

So to end this random outburst of insights, I just want say that, well, in real life, love is pretty messy. There are a billion and one obstacles and all of which serve as opportunities for you to get hurt. But that doesn't make it any less beautiful. And if you ask me if I still believe in love, I do. With all my heart, surprisingly.

Just... not the way I used to.

And I kind of like it better this way. :)

Architecture is Power

I've been doing a lot of artsy things in the last week. There's been so much going on with Details Ink and I'm getting extremely excited for all the things we have planned. But when I think of the future, I worry a bit. See, I imagine myself being the big boss in this super nice office with several happily employed individuals. I'm just not sure if that office is Details Ink or an architectural firm. Haha!

So when I woke up this morning, I feared that my life has been so non-architectural since summer started. And to appease myself, I revisited my old papers. Read them all, yeah, and I wanted to share the first paper I wrote for the my Arch 16 class under the lesson Defining Architecture.

Unlike most papers, I remember putting my heart into this one. Haha. So yeah, I hope it kind of makes you realize how amazing architecture really is.

_____________________________________________________________________

Architecture is Power

Architecture is all around us. That is something many people believe in and something that I personally agree with. Although I was totally unaware of it at that time, it began in my life as a childish fascination for building blocks, Lego, residential brochures and creating towns and cities inside my head. As I got older, what started out as a mere pastime slowly transitioned into a much bigger dream – one that lead me here, at the UP College of Architecture.

However, fascination cannot be equated to understanding. Just because I was interested in architecture at a young age, it does not mean that I really understood what it was nor does it mean that I can fully grasp its essence today. Instead, what that fascination does is keep me in a constant quest for architectural relevance. My knowledge of architecture in the past definitely lacked many parts of the whole but, such still holds true today. There will always be more to learn and therefore, the process by which one’s definition of architecture expands should never end.

As a child, I believed that architecture was synonymous to building. Architects were builders. They just built things. It was that simple to me and consequently, my ability to place one block over another was already as architectural as ever. Of course, now, I believe otherwise.

There was also a time when my world was limited to that of residential architecture. This mind set was highly influenced by my uncle, who was the only architect I knew personally. He designed the homes of several relatives of mine. All of which, I found beautiful and they all contributed to my idea of a well - designed house: simple, clean – looking, with lots of white and lots of wood.

Despite my so – called love for architecture, schools, shopping malls, churches and other types of structures had barely any significance to me. I just liked houses. It seemed as though the very reason why I wanted to become an architect was to be able to design my own home in the future. I collected brochures with rendered plans and perspectives, copied them, altered them to my liking, and documented the different architectural elements that I would eventually apply to my future home.

To me, architecture was all about building beautiful houses. It barely even had anything to do with function or space configuration. It was all about aesthetics – what looked good to me. It was only when I entered college that my rather self – centered definition of architecture really evolved.

After a year in UST Arki and a semester in UP Arki, I learned that architecture is so much more than just the art and science of building, that there is certainly more to it than just “white houses with lots of wood” and that it is definitely not self – centric. It shouldn’t be. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Architecture revolves almost entirely around people – their behavioral patterns, their physical anthropometrics and their general problems and needs which have to be addressed innovatively.

Simply put, a­­­rchitecture is the most creative response to human needs. It is a means for people to live in the most convenient, most comfortable, most aesthetically - pleasing and hopefully also the most meaningful way that they can. Architecture is the end product of an impeccably complicated process involving the observation of people, surrounding environments, natural elements and even intangible things that play crucial roles in coming up with a design; such as the atmosphere of a certain area, perhaps symbolisms and deeper meanings of simple forms and even relationships between what was, what is and what will be.

The amazing thing about architecture is that it can be as big and complex and overwhelming as all that but, it also pays as much attention to, for example, the dimensions of stairs - which seems to be a very minute detail that can go unnoticed but, in reality, will cause a great deal of discomfort for people if it were off – standard. Everything matters, basically.

Professional architects already seemed like gods to me when I was a child but, it was mainly because of their aesthetic eye. At present, however, my respect and admiration for architects do not only root from my love for their designs but also from my sincere amazement in their ability to notice everything. I believe that architecture requires paying attention to things that most people would ignore. There’s always more to something – you never know when something ordinary can become an inspiration for a design concept.

As aforementioned, architecture is the most creative response to human needs. For now, that’s that but, I am still in pursuit of a definition of architecture that encapsulates everything I think it is and how much I believe that architects have the power to change lives with their profession.

Hard Work > Talent

A month ago, I blogged about how boredom during Math 53 gave me an opportunity to start doodling again. This time, I have a whole lot more time on my hands to do exactly that! Yaay. :)

I prepared for this though. Spare time, I mean. I prepared by packing tons of pens and blank sketchbooks. I've already finished one 150 x 100 mm one from Muji. It's my 3rd one, if I'm not mistaken, and now I'm starting my 4th! But aside from that, I'm also using a larger one that measures 162 x 225 mm.

I learned a valuable thing from my friend, Cai, who recently discovered that she's a gifted calligrapher! (Check here!) Because of her, I learned the value of practice. :)

See, I don't like having to work hard. Each page of a sketchbook is a treasured thing - so much that I don't allow myself to make mistakes. It just has to be perfect on the first try. Else, that would be a waste of a perfectly good piece of paper. I put a lot of pressure on myself.

For example, the first 6 times I ever drew on envelope flaps produced the first 6 designs of Details Ink. The next 6 times produced the 6 designs of the 2012 collection... I didn't really give myself options. I didn't work hard to make it better and consequently, I didn't improve. I took comfort in the thought that it was good without me having to try too much or work too hard.

And that, my friends, is a horrible way to think.

My sister posted the following quote:

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.

I know that I have to sort of get off my high horse, tear down my pride and hold on to my pens and use them - again and again and again.

And that is why I'm really happy with all the time I have in my hands over here. It's because I get to draw. I get to draw and redraw and write and rewrite and basically, do things a little better than usual. It's time to raise my standards for myself once again. Oh, the excitement!

Here are some of the random doodles I've done on this trip so far. Please excuse the low resolution!!

This is a repost from the Details Ink blog:

In line with the Details Ink reINnovation, our Instagram account is now up & running! Stay tuned for a whole lot more doodles, inspirational quotes & lyrics and more! As our new tagline says – starting today – we’re giving you art, impact & everything in ink. :)

<<3

What Makes Me Happy: Stationery!!!

Guess what I'm spending most of my money on? Haha, of course. Stationery sets! I found these cute stuff at Target - so when I get to visit other stores, I'm pretty sure I'll be adding a lot more to my collection of cute envelopes & gift cards that I will probably never use. Ever. Hahaha.

It's such a great feeling - to find something that brings back the spark of an old love, something that reminds you of the passion you once had and something that inspires you to keep on. And if there's anything that makes me excited to my core and giddy all over, it's the Stationery Products section of any store. Hihihihi.

It's pens and papers and notebooks and greeting cards and envelopes and colors and art and washi tape and and good design and everything on the Office Supplies list at MUJI!!!

Aaaaah I cannot wait to bask in the smell of new, never-been-used (and will-probably-never-be-used) stationery sets!

Yay I love life!

Touchdown, LA

One of the things that amuses me so much is the fact that switching time zones allows you relive a few hours.

If someone asks me what I was doing on June 10, 2024, 9:04 PM, I'll have two answers. (Well not exactly but, please just ride with me and don't ruin my happiness haha.)

So on June 10, 9:04 PM, I was boarding the plane.

And now, it's June 10, 9:04 PM and I'm in LA, in a car, on the way to what's gonna be my home for a month.

Life is pretty cool that way.

And right now, it feels like we're speeding through the SLEX. But no, that's pretty far away from here.

Here's to this much needed trip - a complete change of scenery, an opportunity to bond with family, to think and to rekindle my once-blazing fire for life. It's gonna be a good month!

What to Pack for a Month - Long Getaway

While packing for the States trip I've been looking forward to for so long, I realized that there were really only a few things that I can't ever be without. Most if not all of these things have to do with art, self-expression and growth.

Hold on.

I think I just made myself sound like the most boring human being on the planet. But hey, I'm proud of it. I love being alone with my artsy books and pens and journals. I love being alone in general actually. SO as excited as I am to spend time with my family when I get to LA, I've packed a whole lot of things that will be of use to me when I go on my dates with myself. Hihi.

Finally, here are some of the things I need  in order to survive a month away from home:

Notebooks! For me it is absolutely necessary to have my journal, my planner and a pad to write down random lists and ideas that spontaneously come to mind.

Sketchbooks. I'm actually in the middle of my Doodle Everyday project but, in this case, it doesn't have to be a Details Ink styled work of art. When you're away from home, use it as an excuse to start sketching again. Aah I am excited!

Pens. I've restocked on pens for this trip because I know that traveling does something to your creativity. I know I'll need a lot! Plus, I've got lots of kiddies I need to share them with. Haha.

Note: A tip to those of you scatterbrained folk: always, always, ALWAYS carry a pen and paper. Capture your ideas right when they hit you!

Cameras. I'm always torn between living in the moment and capturing it. However, I need to know that I have what I need to be able to do both. So yes. You never know when you'll see something as beautiful again. But please know when the moment calls for you to be there fully. :)

Chargers. Trust me, it is such a hassle to have an ITouch, phone or camera with no battery. You'll hate yourself for it. So yeah, my cheap self prepared for this problem by purchasing a P60 cable wire and P40 memory card reader from CDR - King! Hehez.

Books. I need something that will instantly inspire me. So I've got a whole lot of novels on my list (including Eleanor & Park, which I cannot wait to read) BUT, the books I love bringing with me during any type of trip are those giant ones about art, architecture, design, writing, typography, homemaking, love, God, and everything under the category of life. For someone who doesn't really read, I sure bring a lot of books. Haha. (Hope you got that!)

So all these things are in my luggage now. I think I can actually do without clothes and shoes. Haha kidding. I can't wait to head off to the airport and start the trip. My gut tells me that I'll be blogging a lot so, watch out for it and please don't hate me for posting. I can already see how happy I'll be.

Goodbye for a month, my friends. California, here I come!!!! :)

(Thank You God. You are the bestest!!!!)

On Wanderland 2014

Concerts were never really my thing. I kind of grew up watching Gary V on stage and that was more than enough for me, hahaha. I never really loved any artist or band enough to pay thousands of pesos to watch them live...

Plus, I am an awkward turtle that only jumps up and down during super - exceptional occasions and can fall asleep at the wildest of parties. I'm also biased against "human aquariums" or venues for subconscious self - display. Like bars and concerts and stuff. Basically, I don't like it when people do things or dress up or talk or act in a manner that's obviously for show.

And that's why I was super happy at Wanderland. :)

Of course, there were still a lot of people that were so unconservatively dressed and others that were behaving in a way that's totally inappropriate while in public hahaha - but, there was just something about that... that was beautiful.

People were lying down on the grass, sleeping in the strangest positions, eating their dinner on the floor, and literally dancing like no one was watching. To my own surprise, it was precisely because of those things - because no one really cared about anyone else - that made the it all so great.

Imagine if we could have that every single day of our lives.

Ugh. If only.

The event reminded me of a school fair - except for the alcohol and the absence of a dress code, haha. There were games and booths and all that... but the nice thing about it was that it was basically just twelve hours of good music and good vibes.

There was no host that was trying to keep the audience engaged the entire time. There was no annoying guard that would kill the fun in the audience. There was no sign that prevented people from doing anything they wanted to do.

We were all kind of just there and that was actually kind of nice. I think people kind of need to be "just there" sometimes. You know, without the pressure of having to act a certain way or having to behave with a code of conduct in mind or whatever.

Anyway, the best thing about all this is that it was all free! Hahaha. This whole experience was sponsored by my good friend, Tim. (Hihihi thanks again!)

Anyway, I've got a whole lot of new music to download. 

Hopefully, my attempt to recreate the chill Wanderland atmosphere in my room will be successful hehehez.

Happy summer! :)

Pushing Your Way to the Top: My Mt. Batulao Experience

[ With, Timo, my adventure buddy for the day ]

Climbing Mt. Batulao was a spur of the moment type of decision. Life's monotony frustrated me so, I went online and booked the soonest hike Trail Adventours had.

I got my brother to join me on this much needed adventure and without much thought and preparation, we got up at 3am and head out for our day trip. We met our team lead and everyone else at around 4:30 am at Mcdonalds and by 8 am, we were at Batangas, ready as ever to start hiking.

However, what was supposedly a Level 3 climb turned out to be a lot harder than we all expected.

We took a new trail and the obstacles surprised everyone in our group. At some points, the trail was so narrow that I would get nauseous, seeing the lower terrain on my peripherals; so steep that I felt like I was gonna fall backwards or forwards with every step; so slippery that sliding right down became frighteningly possible.

There were also many times when we were literally climbing vertically, grabbing onto rocks and pulling ourselves up or holding on to ropes for dear life. (I actually liked the rock climbing parts a lot better than just panting your way up an inclined surface.)

Anyway, after around 6 kilometers, we finally reached the summit. Struggling to keep up with my superstar athlete brother paid off, because we ended up arriving first and getting good spots under the shade.

There was a nice little halo-halo stand, where we ate our lunch and enjoyed the view, the peace and the mere sense of fulfillment.

[ Cheese and crackers at the summit c/o our mommy ]

And then, the rain started to pour...

Because of how hot it was at that time, I was never happier to feel water fall from the sky. A new friend lent me this glorified garbage bag that I used as a raincoat and with that, we were "ready" to go back down.

Many of you may be grossed out by this but, man, Timo and I were so happy about the mud. We sort of relived our childhood a bit - going barefoot, running and sliding along the streams of the dirty, wet soil, dancing in the rain and singing the songs we used to sing as kids.

Childhood. Right there. I was so happy.

We weren't really able to take that many pictures. Every last ounce of energy I had, I used to take the next step. Haha.

On this trip, I realized what it truly meant to push. I don't know how many times my face got white or red, how many times I felt like fainting and how many times Timo literally had to hold my hand throughout the duration of the hike. But hey, as they say, the view from the top is pretty great. :)

[ Happy is she who survived today's adventure! ]
[ Shout out to my brother whom I wouldn't have been able to do this without. ]

That was 12 freakin kilometers. My body hurts like hell and I still have to study for an exam tomorrow...

But at least now, I know that, uhm, good things come to those who push.

(Or something to that effect. HAHAHA Have a nice day!)

When Bored, Make Art

There are times during my calculus class when the formulas and equations get all jumbled up in my head and the sound of my professor's voice seems to get softer and softer until it's totally drowned out by the summation of all my thoughts.

I, then, catch myself reaching into my bag and searching frantically for the one thing I know would help me escape the confusion - my sketchbook!

I tend to space out, in other words.

And then, I end up doodling.

Or calligraphy-ing. Or something. Haha, anyway.

Before I know it, the class is over. :)

Based on experience, I've come to believe that doodling speeds up time. Therefore, I highly recommend it be done in class.

[ when bored ]

[ make art ]

Have a nice day!

It's Nice To Meet You (A Blog About Pressure and Introductions and Life)

Recently, I realized the type of life I want don't want.

You know, the kind of life where everybody is a somebody? Everyone is sort required to be someone. And no one's really allowed to simply... be.

Cause, you know, it's so not ideal...

(I hope you understand what I mean but don't worry, I shall elaborate.)

It's the kind of life where your name just has to be attached to some accomplishment, position, title, connection and whatever might make you seem a little more interesting to the person you're meeting. All introductions sort of have the same format.

"Hey, this is _______, the _________."
"I want you to meet ________. She's the one who ________."
"This is ________, the owner of ________."

It's horrible.

But I have to admit that it is a convenient way to cover up for the fact that, I haven't exactly figured myself out yet. There's a lot of pressure though... and I really don't like it.

However, while I do struggle to find myself and, to put it bluntly, while I figure out why God didn't let me go to Heaven when I could have, I guess I could hide behind all the labels. I guess it isn't so bad to be known as "Kara, the singer girl" or "Kara, the one that sells envelopes" or "Kara, the girl that got sick before."

I get those a lot and believe me, it causes wars inside my head.

I always try to deviate from the labels that people associate with me because I was never convinced that those labels ever really embodied who I was - or who I am. The pressure comes in it when seems that other people have labels that actually do capture who they are. It makes you wonder: how come they've already discovered their "thing" and I haven't?

After that realization, the pressure sets in even more and you're kind of like this...

HAHA. Well, anyway, as I was saying... it's horrible. :(

I mean, do all those positions and accomplishments and titles and connections really matter? Do we really need that? Is it really what life is all about?

Well, society makes us think so. You know... work hard, get a good job, earn lots of money, attach a billion things onto your resume so you've got something to show people and eventually live a big shot happy life.

(But hey, I really admire all those people that actually make it big without sacrificing the things that truly matter.)

It's really tempting to just do that though. Many times, I get carried away and end up wanting to live like that and work hard for "the good life" but then, I end up feeling the unnecessary pressure and stress. I end up asking myself "What's the point?" or "Does this make me happy?" and then, I somehow get some sense knocked into my head again.

I have to remind myself that that isn't the life that I want.

I don't want to get swayed into doing only what society approves of. I don't want to push myself to do more and be more simply because the world says that I have to be someone.

Sometimes, I really just want to be.

I don't want pressure. I don't want ideal.
And although I admittedly do care about what people think, I really don't want to anymore.

I want to do more and be more not because the I have to but because I can.
Whatever I wanna do, I wanna do - whether or not it's my thing and even if it isn't me.
I want to allow myself to feel what I really feel when I feel it.
And whoever I am at a certain point and time - I just want to feel free to be that person.

I don't want to deny and lie to myself. I don't want to pretend. I don't want to hide from the world. And I basically, don't want to care about anything anymore. HAHA Just kidding.

With all that has been said... Please, let me introduce myself. :)

Hi, my name is Kara.

I just sort of enjoy life as it unfolds and I don't really have much figured out.
My fear of failure keeps me from doing a lot of things but strangely, my awareness of the existence of that fear is what pushes me to try and face it.
I've got lots of experiences I'd wanna share - both good and bad - and I've got a billion dreams as well.
There are times when I don't feel like doing anything at all and times when I wish I had more of me - so that I could do everything I want to do.
I sleep a lot more than a normal person does, I think.
Sometimes, I feel like a completely useless human being.
Sometimes, I feel really proud of myself and other times, I'm just completely insecure.
I could tell you more about me but, please don't put me in a box because I really don't like that...
Because living life means continuously growing and growing might mean changing so, if you don't mind, I will keep doing so. :)

And before you introduce yourself, I want to let you know that you're fine.

No matter how long or short your resume is, whether you're still on your way to finding yourself or if it isn't even on your agenda to do so,  no matter what you've done, what you do now and what you're capable of doing in the future... it's really nice to meet you. :)

[ THE END ]

[ Coming soon : A blog about our mission trip to Tacloban ]