How Am I Gonna Be An Optimist About This?

Please excuse my 2 AM feels.
As well as my redundant use of words I'm too lazy to find alternatives for due to the fact that it is... 2 AM.
Please and thank you.

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"If you close your eyes,

Does it almost feel like nothing changed at all?

And if you close your eyes,

Does it almost feel like you've been here before?"

-Pompeii by Bastille

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Don't you just love and hate how some songs kind of steal your messed up thoughts and perfectly word it out for you? You claim it as your own because it seems as though the universe had carefully planned out a way for the perfect song to play at the most opportune moment for you. Then, you kind of freak out, call that possibly purely coincidental moment a sign and then, you come up with some meaningful explanation for it. Oh, people... or... oh, me... Anyway, I'm going off track here.

Back to my main point.

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optimism

ˈɒptɪmɪz(ə)m/

noun

hopefulness and confidence about the future or the success of something.

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So, my ultimate solution to all life problems is kind of starting to lose its magic powers.

It used to work all the time.
Looking at the bright side is kind of... supposed to be my thing.
Many times, it's easy. And automatic. Second nature, I guess.
But, I guess it gets hard when life does.

And just like how, uhm, wheels get all old and need to get changed after a billion revolutions, so does my game plan for, uhm, coping with life.

I guess I have to change my approach or something. I don't know.

Who's that scientist that said you can't do the same thing over and over again, and expect the same results? Hm. Can't remember. Anyway...

I'm kind of starting to find difficulty in differentiating optimism from denial.
Although I'm a self proclaimed expert at practicing the former, that expertise is kind of failing me now.
Because I may have mistaken one for the other and only now am I realizing that I've been practicing the latter all along.

So, yeah.
The blog title says it all I guess.
I'm just trying to figure out my game plan.

How am I gonna be an optimist about this?

I don't know yet.

Maybe I should distract myself and focus on happy things for now?
Hmmm....

Oh my gosh.

Is that being optimistic? Or being in denial?
Ugh. Whatever. That's the plan for now.
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It is probably best that I go to bed.
Goodnight.

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ONCE AGAIN

Please excuse my 2 AM feels.
As well as my redundant use of words I'm too lazy to find alternatives for due to the fact that it is... 2 AM.
Please and thank you.

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