Time to Enjoy the Ride

(Stressed Photo)

Looking back at my last two entries, it's safe to say that my mind has been quite, uhm, messed up lately... because of certain reasons that I will keep to myself for now. Hohoho. Let's just say that I was looking at my life at a new perspective and I wasn't too happy with it. And I couldn't figure out why.

On the surface, everything was fine - as with most things but, there was still something that was making me cry and keeping me up at night. Although, I couldn't pinpoint what exactly that thing was, it was there.

To be honest, I didn't even have much to be sad about.

Everything was fine.

And I was comfortable.
And safe
And steady
And stable
And fine...

...like dead seaweed.

(I can't explain it okay.)

However, I've learned that when we have troubled minds and hearts, it's an opportunity for us to turn to God. And so, I did.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

And lean not on your own understanding.

Proverds 3: 5-6

See, I like having my life all figured out. I make a billion lists a day and every year, my planner is a major production because it has to be able to accommodate 365 days' worth of thoughts, lists, dreams, events, etc.  

But, God's been telling me that it's time to trust Him. As in, REALLY trust Him. It's time for me to let Him take control of my life. He's actually been nagging me about that for quite a while now and I've just been too stubborn to let Him. 

It's like I let God take the driver's seat a long time ago but, I've been backseat driving like crazy ever since! God's probably just laughing at me yapping about what I want, whether or not I want this, and all the stuff that makes me sound like a fickle-minded fool ...because He already knows what's in store for me and He's probably just dying for me to chill out.

It's still hard for me to believe the drastic measures I've taken to FML (Fix My Life) or whatever, haha! But, it's been done and now all I have to do is wait. 

While waiting, I've been crossing a lot of things off my summer to do list and yes, it's been quite fun. I've never been this chill about future plans though. There's usually Plan A-Z but, now there's only Plan A and if that doesn't work out, I still don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.

But maybe, that could be the lesson here? That it's actually quite normal for me not to know the future so, I shouldn't even bother trying to figure it all out? Hmm...

(Not stressed photo!)

Maybe God wants me to sit back, relax and quit backseat driving... so that I might actually enjoy the ride. :)